This week I discovered a song by the Cinematic Orchestra and sung by Patrick Watson. I actually heard a tiny snippet of the song on a TV programme and did an internet search and managed to track it down. It's beautiful and Patrick's voice is haunting. It is called, 'To Build a Home'
There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills...
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust...
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home...
Cause, I built a home
for you
for me
Until it disappeared
from me
from you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me...
Cause, I built a home
for you
for me
Until it disappeared
from me
from you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...
I then went on to find this song Music Box which I like the lyrics to (from 1minute 30 secs)
My darling, darling girl
Won't you shout it to the world?
My darling, darling, darling girl
Shout it out, my golden girl
Wrap yourself with all the world
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
(Oh my golden girl)
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
(Wrap yourself with all the world)
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
(Shout, my golden girl)
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
(Wrap yourself around the world)
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
(Wrap yourself around the world)
Little bit of gold, little bit of pearl
It reminds me of Lucy. Our lovely Lucy has been having a bad time of late. That's where the faith bit comes in. Quite unbelievably she has been rejected (hate that word) from every university she has applied to to do medicine. Her teachers are dumbfounded. We are dumbfounded. The rest of the family are dumbfounded. (Hate that word too!) Lucy is a straight A student. She spent all her summer holidays doing a medical bursary at our local hospital and spent a week with my doctor brother Matthew doing 12 hour shifts at his hospital for work experience. She chose Chemistry, Biology, Maths & English for her A levels and is doing very well. She is conscientious, well-behaved (i.e doesn't go out and get drunk/sleep with boys etc), mature, studies everyday and is almost a year younger than her peers as she was born just 2 days before she would have been in the school year below.
Who knows why these things happen? We just don't know. I could wail on her behalf. But in all the disappointment she has been so strong, only once blinking back the tears as she sat on my bed in early February when the first rejection came through. I could only say to her that that wasn't where God wanted her to be.
Surprisingly I've had to say that 4 more times now and we're beginning to take comfort from it. Those doors have closed for her and we are thinking that a gap year might be just what God intended all along.
In that old suitcase of mine that caused such a distraction the other day, I found a yellowing piece of paper with a prayer on it. I read it out at Lucy's dedication in church when she was a baby - well with all my babies. I did not write it and don't know who did. It says,
My God here is my child.
I give her to you.
Reach out and touch her with the finger of Your love so
she may stop where she is, sense Your presence and
turn to You.
Take her and make of her what You want, not what I want.
Call her to adventures You have planned for her.
Keep her from sin, but if she sins draw her back to You.
Keep her from smallness of spirit.
Help her to know herself and enjoy the person You created her to be.
Help her to use her gifts to serve You.
Help her to plunge deep into the mystery of her union with You
and love You above all things as for me.
Help me to love her without possessiveness.
Help me to be firm and protect her when I must.
Help me to be patient while she strives to find herself.
Then help me to respect her for what You made her to be.
Help me to guide her with Your wisdom.
Help me to love letting her go.
And when the work is done and she is formed and raised and
gone, help me to turn back to You without her and continue
the journey, wiser and more understanding of You
and Your way with men because I have borne a child
of my own.
I have to hand her future over to God because he has plans for her that are different to what we thought. After all I did pray for that 17 years ago.
It's felt good writing this post - therapy almost!
To cheer Lucy I bought a Cath Kidston neckerchief with her favourite print (London - she thinks London is the most coolest place like I did at her age and was her first and second university choice, bless her.) and made a pillowcase for her. She'll get to London one day.
And on that pillowcase I pinned some of the lyrics of Music Box because I had discovered them that very day and they just felt God given for that very moment.
Thank you for listening.
